didn't pilot the EVA all week

(...literally wtf do i even do for the next 20 YEARS...)

watched

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin

for

the first time

(i was not expecting bruh to pull THAT out the chamber)

started playing

Animal Well

(idk what's going on but my nervous system really enjoys it)

i'll have

"more notes"

once i finally

BEAT IT

(the only note i have so far is that bruh needs endless felatio)

BUT

WOW

(THIS AUTISTIC LIL FUCKER IS A GENIUS)

i've been

"busy"

(actually)

so

SOMES O' MEDIA

(never enough time edition)

ROSEMEAD

god bless

Lucy Liu

(she channeled every coy aunty she’s ever met for this)

that was 

“FUCKED UP”

(literally what the fuck)

like 

"uncomfortably real"

(the inside of my cheek will never fully recover)

i’ve been trying to

traumatize myself out of having kids

(i have to run the sim before i build irl)

“THE VOICES”

(paranoid schizophrenia)

has absolutely

TERRORIZED

my bloodline

(s/o chattel slavery)

so

i felt it was

MY DUTY

to watch this

(god bless the neurological helmet that is autism)

if i didn’t get up to pee

(a byproduct of tradition)

i would've been

FUCKING BALLING

before the

hour mark

(silently sulking in my seat...honestly wasn’t much better)

“miraculously”

(life is uncomfortably real...what are you gonna do...)

i didn’t get 

“scared straight”

(even O-Ren had her hands full)

4/5

(please take your fucking pills)

(DIRECT CONTRADICTION)

THE WARRIORS

okay so

...i've NEVER seen this...

"HOW?!?"

i had

"strict parents"

(...my dad showed me Beat Street instead...)

if you

(somehow)

SURVIVED

NYC

in the

70s

YOU

DESERVE

FINANCIAL

COMPENSATION

(...the DIABOLICAL shit mfers must have got away with...)

Village People cosplay

payphones

cocaine

and

NO SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS

(someone's dream but most people's nightmare)

existing

"like that"

(living with the nervous system of a frightened chinchilla)

can cause enough trauma

TO TAINT A BLOODLINE

(truly some of god's strongest "WAAARRRIOOORSSS")

mfers were getting

DRESSED TO THE 9S

to go

SQUABBLE IN THE PARK

(and still didn't hop)

as

"the popular loner"

(i'm literally just 30...so i've acquired standards)

i forget most mfers

CAN'T DO ANYTHING

if they aren't surrounded by

5-10 people

(imagine "after hours")

historically

i'm the queen of

"saying no to free pussy"

(sane)

so

i can say this

IN FULL CONFIDENCE:

there is

NEVER ENOUGH TIME

to get your

DICK WET

ON A MISSION

(sloppy coitus is for SURVIVORS ONLY)

AND

if it comes

"too easy"

("IDk WhY SHe's TaLkNg to ME")

YOU'RE THE SUCKA

(mfers see some pretty feet and fold like lawn chairs)

i guess

you could consider me a

"WAAARRRIOOOR"

(habitual winner of many unnecessary battles)

so

i can relate to this movie

A LOT

(i ain't even do shit...why was i on the run?!?)

so obviously

i'm most like

Swan

(too hot for full-time group shenanigans)

"WhO MAdE yoU LeADeR?!?"

REALITY BITCH

ALSO

(just like Swan)

when

Mercy

came on screen

i audibly

"AOOOGAH'D"

(the mfer came out BOSSY and in "fuck me pumps" 😵‍💫)

so in

DIRECT CONTRADICTION

to what i just said

"SOME MFERS"

(mom's face...dad's personality...earthy feet)

DESERVE

"ON DUTY DICK"

(getting your back blown out in the heat of danger)

i'm kinda

IN LOVE

with this movie

(...i even started playing the game...)

BUT

FILMING THIS

must have been

A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

(strictly off Crackhead RNG alone i would have quit)

kind of like

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin

i wasn't expecting it to end that way

(mfers power scaling be on some DIFFERENT SHIT)

so

now that i've

"SURVIVED"

(mfers found out their "BFFs" were "PDFs")

I THINK

i can

(FINALLY)

live a

"REAL GOOD"

life

(somewhere on a beach defiling feet as the sun sets)

ALSO

I'VE

(STILL)

NEVER BEEN TO CONEY ISLAND

☢︎