HAPPY PRIDE

AND

HAPPY EARLY FATHER'S DAY

what did

"he who shall not be named"

say

"NONE OF US WOULD BE HERE WITHOUT CUM..HMMMM"

didn't pilot the EVA all week

("...i miss Lorenzo....")

...yeah i bet…

"this hurts me more than it hurts you"

type shit

but i think i proved my point

(i’ve also been kinda busy making a new home)

been watching

THE BOONDOCKS

god damn this shit is peak

Aaron McGruder is a GENIUS

CERTIFIED

also

Regina King is whatever comes after legendary

"the thing"

is almost done

i just really want her to be perfect

(more for me, less for y'all)

so

TONS O' MEDIA

also

a gentle reminder

if you have footage

i have open arms

don’t be scared

this heart is kind

hotdweeb.com

GO VOTE

i watched the democratic primary mayoral debate last night

so i have some

“opinions”

for the most part

most of the candidates are sane

and could elicit real change

(like idk making this place livable)

which is something that desperately needs to happen

yeah, it’s NYC

but the wealth disparity is getting insane

borderline laughable

(and that’s coming from “Boho McMoneybags”)

but a few of these mfers

“YEEESH”

KICK ROCKS

one of these mfers said

“i’m a proud zionist”

with his whole chest

then endorsed Cuomo

live on stage

and expected mfers to clap

…crazy work…

(”GET THE DICK OUT YO MOUTH DUMMY”)

it’s ranked choice

so even if you’re an indecisive commitmentphobe like me

you can give every candidate you find suitable some love

(Zellnor, you did amazing pookie…CROWN HEIGHTS STAND UP)

so please vote

it’s your civic duty and one of the first steps to having a healthier city

also

i wasn’t fully here for the Cuomo days

(“TRANSPLANT!”…yeah duh…it’s New York…where else does someone like me go)

but bruh laughing at a COVID-19 victim’s relative

ON CAMERA

is psycho

and shows a detachment from reality that’s incongruent with idk

GOVERNING PEOPLE

plus the mfer hasnt even lived in the city since before i was born

(i’ll be 30 in August)

how do you expect to know what matters to the people

if you literally aren’t one

please vote for anyone but that loser

(corporate shill)

and obviously don’t vote for the mfer who’s currently in the seat

(sometimes)

i literally rank

“Paperboy Love Prince”

before either of those clowns

the robot speaks: MINECRAFT

The robot spoke

go watch it

she’s a funny bitch

CLICK HERE

my cars dashboard circa 2019

KING OF THE HILL

as an anime dweeb

you'd have to assume i'd love King of the Hill

(America's greatest anime)

it's written so well

for a show that so simple

it really catches you off guard

when it touches on themes that are super universal 

but also extremely niche to America's

“unique”

brand of stupidity

i love it so much 

so obviosuly i'm a Hank Hill stan

Hank might be one of the greatest dads in television history

“i tell ya hwhat”

even if he is 

"simple"

simple

in no way, shape, or form

means dumb

which is a point this show drives home thoroughly

(Mike Judge really understands people)

this mfer Hank be having CarrieBradshaw type zingers

and gems 

having never read Dostoevsky 

sipped a matcha latte

or

knowingly smoking

"the devil's lettuce"

just a real nigga spitting facts

with WD-40  securely placed on his hip

my father mirrors this behavior

so 1:1

it's honestly spooky

neeed something fixed

call him

needs someones ass kicked 

call him

need an emotionally resonant response

call mom

(he's also a propane stan)

so obviously 

i got big Bobby Hill energy

(That…made... THAT…life is strange)

so i'm

"handy"

( can fix literally anything and knows the sound of a bad carburetor)

because that's all i did as a child

(s/o Pops)

i just happen to look like this

(s/o Pops)

yes , there is WD-40 in eyeshot of me currently

other than that

i  really relate to everyone in this show 

which is what makes it so great 

but 

i'm most like

Dale

(they're literally out to get me, i can smell it)

Boomhower

(idk what that mfer does or what they're saying but they're right and i'm horny)

Luanne

(if you know me…you know i'm not always this smart... and i'm kind of a ditz)

Peggy

(my spanish is atrocious...especially for someone who was born there)

John Redcorn

(DUH)

no i'm not going to fuck your wife

calm down

(but if your kid comes out a few shades too dark..."it wasn't me")

very excited for the reboot

America needs a

LONG 

HARD LOOK 

into the beautifully warped 

mirror

that is 

KING OF THE HILL

(hung with love, lots of Alamo beer and even more WD-40) ☢︎