didn't pilot the EVA all week

(not mfers spiraling over lil ol' me)

still been

"busy"

(as fuck)

so

SOMES O' MEDIA

(parlay edition)

(assaulted)

CABLE TV

okay so for like

THE LAST MONTH

i was

living in a hotel

(s/o THE POD Williamsburg...i love y'all to death)

so

i had nothing to do

but

refresh my email

whack it

and

watch tv

(the holy trinity)

so

in doing that i

rediscovered

the

BEAUTY

of

CABLE TELEVISON

(no smut...just vibes)

there’s

no other medium

where i can be

clicking through the channels

and

be assaulted with:

bareknuckle boxing

CORGI RACES

day long cricket matches

passively

watching the entire

Harry Potter Seires

(it sucks homegirl is a terf...she spazzed)

OR

watching most of

The Infinity Saga

(ON MUTE)

TRULY

nothing rivals the

manufatured RNG

orchestrated by the

SICK FUCKS

running

network television

(genuises with bastard tendencies)

even though

the Youtube algorithm

is

LITERALLY UNMATCHED

(...touch her and you die...)

“BuT whAt AboUT TiktoK?”

(please acquire an attention span)

2020-2023

era

Tiktok

was literally

PEAK DADA

(mfers were serving me nonsense and I LOVED IT)

BUT NOW

it's like a

toxic

caplitalist

attention hellscape

(this is why you don't let bastards own shit)

when it used to just be

weird girl feet

and

digital communism

(how you get mfers to scroll for 6+ hours)

which is why

i got rid of it

(if i wanted to talk to Miss Cleo...i'd channel her myself)

“aRe yOu goNNa gEt CaBLe aT yoUr nEw PLaCe?”

...absoltuely not...

(what am i made of money)

that extra

100 schmeckles

is entirely

"too rich for my blood"

(i have to use that money on getting that bitch pedicures)

(ASLEEP)

RAT RACE

“wHy dOn't yOu CArE?!?”

(i'm cared for...i'm rad...and i don't need your approval)

also

i watched this movie

OVER

AND

OVER

AND

OVER AGAIN

as a child

(i grew up in the golden era and didn’t even know it)

SO

i've always known that

following

the

"rat race"

(mfers fighting for nonexistent scraps as the elites giggle)

is literally

"nothing but a slap in the face"

(you'd have to assume there's more cheese elsewhere)

now that

the general public

is

ABUNDANTLY AWARE

that these

RICH FUCKS ARE:

pocketing your tax dollars

(which is illegal)

flipping it in the crypto market

(which is illegal)

then using said money to

gamble on human lives

(which is psychotic and illegal)

HOPEFULLY

BY NOW

WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

(FUCK EM')

AGAIN

something i've known

FOR YEARS

(living with this much perception is torturous)

SO MUCH SO

that when

"the electric used car salemen"

did an

HH

with the

Presidential Seal

in-front of him

my first and only thought was:

"which one of those losers bet him to do that"

(i've hung out with enough losers to know a bet when i see it)

SO

i felt

it's best to revist this movie

because not only is it

"funny"

(they can't make movies like this anymore)

BUT

because it’s

very

very

VERY

fucking

"relevant"

(these mfers had a parlay on war crimes 😵‍💫)

i hadn't watched it

in

YEARS

(the intro song still plays in my head most days though)

as a kid

i watched this like:

"i'd do anything for 2 million dollars"

(what a sweet naive child)

BUT NOW

as an adult

i'm like:

"double it and give it to the next person"

(too much effort...not enough money)

"the cast"

(the remnients of the orgy that was the late 90's)

is

fucking crazy:

Mr.Bean

(IN FORM)

Gloria Allred

(as herself)

The Sister

(in act)

Chris Griffin

(in a fedora)

The Tweaker

from

Grind

(tweakin')

...Newman...

Radio

(with minimal drool)

Prod's Dad

(not praying into his hat)

and

The Critic

('IT STINKS')

watching this now

i relate most to

Mr.Bean

(i be in first place...ASLEEP)

obviously

I LOVE THIS MOVIE

(it’s why i’m this cunty now)

it truly taught me that

these mfers

WILL BET ON ANY AND EVERYTHING

(even the probability of you dying)

mfers use

"gambling"

(willingly facefucking your dopamine receptors)

as proof they're

"living"

(desperately need to go to gamblers anonymous)

i still have

NO IDEA

what a parlay is

(anytime i google how to spell it i cover the screen)

i'm guessing

it has something to do with

guessing correctly?!?

(damn...parlay hit again)

but

i do know

that somethings should be

free from the shackles of gambling

(like my sanity)

☢︎