didn't pilot the EVA all week

(...a moment of silence for all of the clits rubbed raw...)

saw

SUPERGIRL

(y'all are scoring it too low)

i’m not even in my

“DC DICK SUCKER ERA”

(those mfers really made FUCKING PEAK)

BUT

i did

READ THE COMIC

(it's better than the movie...obviously)

SO

NOTHING WAS A SURPRISE

AND

I STILL ALMOST CRIED

(some of y'all are just misogynist dorks)

it’s not

“FUCKING PEAK”

(not everything is fucking Ratatouille)

BUT

if you’ve idk

UNLOCKED EMPATHY

(something mfers experiencing MPB don’t have space for)

OR

ACTUALLY

HAVE

ALL THE POWER IN THE WORLD

AND

STILL FEEL INSUBSTANTIAL

(something that can only happen when you aren't delusional)

THIS MOVIE

is

FOR YOU

(it had grown men tearing up in my theater)

4/5

(review bombing this won’t get Milly Alcock to fuck you)

still

watching

the

wOrLd cUp

(you mfers are making me so proud)

still been

“busy”

(...my therapist said sucking cock wasn't a hobby...)

so

ONES O’ MEDIA

(fin edition)

(insane)

RATATOUILLE

OKAY SO

like

I JUST SAID

it's

FUCKING PEAK

(this shit had me crying at 6 AM)

i haven't

WATCHED IT

in

YEARS

until

YESTERDAY

(TikTok hopecore videos used to fill the void)

i absolutely

FUCKING LOVE COOKING

(the satisfaction of making something edibile is like cumming)

"WhY DoN't yOu JUsT gO bE A cHEf?!?"

(the aesthetic is god tier but sadly i can't anymore)

WTF DO I LOOK LIKE

having some

BALD

FUCKING

"N-WORD"

(an epidemic at this point)

telling me

"I SUCK"

(i learned that lesson the hard way years ago)

plus

THE HOURS

are

FUCKED

(i'd literally be a cokehead...they work more than doctors)

SO

WATCHING THIS AS AN ADULT

(it gets better the older i get)

REALLY

HIT HOME

(again a nigga was crying at 6 AM)

i'm literally

REMY

(my family thinks i'm insane for having exceptional taste)

also

"PEOPLE"

(idiots too dumb to understand that 30 and 17 is fucked up)

think i'm

"A RAT"

(god forbid a mfer have taste and a fucking backbone)

even though i

LITERALLY

used to be

LINGUINI

(desperately trying to appear human)

BUT NOW

i'm basically

COLETTE

(of course you're in love with me i'm HOT AF and the shit)

even if

MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

is fully spent

AT MY DESK

just

TALKING SHIT

like

ANTON EGO

(i'm just a cunt with high expectations...it's nothing personal)

"wHAt'S uR SeCrET?!?"

(i have many but one conquers all)

THAT FUCKING

RAT IN MY HEAD

(raw unfiltered autism)

"THE RAT"

(the secret ingredient)

is always

NIPPING AT ME

telling me to do

"CRACKED SHIT"

(make literal fucking peak on a daily basis)

sometimes it takes

"A RAT"

(someone who saw everything and said nothing)

to give you

"FUCKING PEAK"

(a sensation you haven't tasted since childhood)

"ANYONE CAN COOK"

BUT

NOT EVERYONE

HAS

FUCKING TASTE

(what people pay millions for)

ALSO

IF Y’ALL

BASTARDIZE MY LEGACY

WITH FUCKING

"MICROWAVE MEALS"

(SOME INFOGRAPHIC NONSENSE)

I WILL

HAUNT

ALL OF YOU

(force ghost included)

EVERY HOUR

OF

EVERY DAY

WILL BE SPENT

TERRORIZING Y'ALL

(i'm a rat...you'll never get rid of me)

☢︎